Confessions of a Pastor | Part 3
Why I’m breaking free from the “Technology Loop.”
Scroll through Instagram.
Scroll through Facebook.
Scroll through Snapchat.
Scroll through Twitter.
Put phone down.
5 minutes go by.
Repeat.
Be honest.
Have you been there?
I have. This scene from Portlandia I think sums my problem with technology up perfectly.
I’ve been trapped in the “Technology Loop” before. How about you?
I can be in a room full of people and on my phone. An hour can pass by and Jena and I would be on the couch at our home engaged in the lives of others through social media but not engaged with one another.
It’s ironic to me that social media has actually made us less social.
I’ve decided I needed to confess this: I have a problem with technology and that problem is not that I have access to technology, it is that I have given technology too much access to me.
Part of what I feel like the Lord has challenged me to do as of late is to simply be more present. I am a futurist by nature. I love innovating, planning and dreaming for the future. This isn’t bad except when I no longer know what it means to be present in the moment.
Here
and now.
So I’ve made some commitments as of late to be intentional in being a more present person and, you guessed it, this will require me putting some restrictions on my life so I can be more free.
Side note: I know we don’t like the word “restrictions” because somehow we think it impedes our freedom. The issue though is that total freedom never quite lives up to the hype does it? Rather, total freedom can actually, and often does, lead to total slavery. The issue isn’t restrictions, the issue is finding the right restrictions that will enable you to be free in the areas that matter most. A fish is restricted to water. If a fish decided to be “totally free” and leave the water, well, you know what would happen. The same is true for us. Total freedom of what I eat may sound nice, but it will lead me to being morbidly obese and unable to really do much. Total freedom in my financial habits may sound awesome. That is until you’re crushed underneath the weight of consumer debt as a result of your “freedom.” The key is finding liberating restrictions that, yes will restrict you, but will ultimately be the restriction(s) you need to be free in the areas that matter most.
So back to the technology loop and how I’m breaking free:
- No phone after 7pm. I’ve done this for almost 2 weeks now and it…is…awesome. I have found myself ending each night with a more calm mind which has led to higher quality sleep. I’ve been able to enjoy the bedtime routine with my daughter more and afterwards I’ve been able to either read things that are more meaningful than the drunk status update from a friend on Friday night or I’ve been able to simply have better and more meaningful conversations and time spent with my wife.
- I’ve limited myself to check my e-mail once a day. You know the feeling. You’re right in the middle of working on a project and all of a sudden your email notification pops up on your computer, and buzzes on your phone and dings on your smartwatch. Now all focus has been shattered and you pause what you’re doing to check that e-mail because if you don’t, apparently the whole word is going to end. This was a rut that I had gotten into and when I took a step back, I realized how exaggerated and distracting my “need” to constantly be connected to my e-mail really is. So I’ve limited myself to one time a day where I will check my email, respond, and get my inbox back to zero. I thought this was going to be excruciatingly difficult and it turns out that the world still spins, deadlines are still hit, and I’m far more productive for the rest of the day without the constant notifications of my inbox. Additionally, I’ve found that my email responses are much more thoughtful and effective because I have chosen to answer my emails at the start of my day before any level of decision-fatigue, frustrations or stress have crept in. Boom!
- Unplug from social media every Friday. In year 4 of my marriage I learned (the hard way) the importance of rest. Long story short when I was 23 I thought I was so important that I needed to work seven days a week, never unplug, and always be available. After this way of living nearly killed my marriage and ministry, I decided to take the Biblical discipline of Sabbath seriously and take one day a week to rest and remember that I’m a human being not a human doing. This revolutionized my life. It’s like God knew what he was talking about when he told us to rest. Crazy! I’ve stuck to this discipline the last 7 years and it’s been great, but I think I can take it even further. Because although I would not “work” on my Sabbath, I have done a poor job of truly unplugging. I not only want my Sabbath to be a day I rest, but I also want it to be a day that I’m content. Content with what I have. Content with who I am and where I am in life. Truth be told, social media has this way of making you feel inadequate and, at least for me, it feeds this strange desire I have for others to like me and what I’m doing. Because a “selfie” is never for yourself is it? Be honest. It’s always for others to see and like your picture. When I’m at that concert and I’m on Instagram capturing every waking moment on my Story, there’s a part of me that wants people to know how cool my life is. I have problems, I know. So I recently got a Lightphone and on Friday’s I use it exclusively. It’s my phone away from my phone. Except this phone only receives and makes calls. So I’m there if you need to call me, but for an entire day I receive no texts, no social media, no notifications and no constant scrolling through other people’s highlight reels. It’s been really great, actually.
I’m learning that being present and focused will not happen on accident. It can only happen with the intentionality and discipline to say “no” to the things I can do for the things that I should do.
I can check my e-mail 20 times a day.
But doing so stops me from the things I should do.
Like being more focused.
I can bring my phone on my date with my wife.
But doing so has the potential to stop me from what I should do.
Like have a meaningful conversation with her, not my phone.
I can be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to answer questions, meet with, and provide direction for the team I serve at Canvas.
But doing so will stop me from being the leader I should be.
Like the kind that empowers and trusts his team enough to give them the freedom to make decisions on their own.
A good thing to remember is that can and should are not always equal.
I can without a doubt say that in these first 2 weeks that these changes to my relationship with technology have been immediately beneficial. I’ve been more present, more focused, more efficient and overall a better husband, friend, leader and human being as a result.
And on that note, I’m signing off until Saturday. Here’s to being free from the technology loop!
Reflection:
- If you’re honest, do you have a healthy relationship with technology? How long can you go without checking your phone? Go ahead and see how long you can last.
- What are some “liberating restrictions” you think you could create for your use of technology that would free you to do the things you should do?
- What do you think would happen in your life, your work and in your relationships if you were more present?
